英語長篇故事

Ⅰ 長篇的比較搞笑的英語故事和翻譯

Pitcher, 2)confidential clerk in the office of Harvey Maxwell, broker, allowed a
look of mild interest and surprise to visit his usually expressionless
3)countenance when his employer 4)briskly entered at half past nine in company
with his young lady5)stenographer. With a 6)snappy 「Good-morning, Pitcher,」
Maxwell dashed at his desk as though he were intending to leap over it, and then
plunged into the great heap of letters and telegrams waiting there for
him.
九點半時,股票經紀人哈維·麥克斯韋爾在年輕女速記員的陪同下精神抖擻地走進辦公室。他事務所里的機要秘書皮徹那通常毫無表情的臉上不禁露出一絲好奇和詫異。麥克斯韋爾精力充沛地喊了聲「早啊,皮徹」,就朝他的辦公桌沖去,彷彿要跳過它似的。接著,他就一頭扎進一大堆等著他處理的信件和電報里。

The
young lady had been Maxwell』s stenographer for a year. She was beautiful in a
way that was 7)decidedly unstenographic. She 8)forwent the 9)pomp of the
alluring 10)pompadour. She wore no chains, bracelets or 11)lockets. She had not
the air of being about to accept an invitation to luncheon. Her dress was grey
and plain, but it fitted her figure with 12)fidelity and discretion. In her neat
black 13)turban hat was the gold-green wing of a 14)macaw. On this morning she
was softly and shyly radiant. Her eyes were dreamily bright, her cheeks genuine
15)peachblow, her expression a happy one, 16)tinged with
reminiscence.
那位年輕姑娘給麥克斯韋爾當速記員已經有一年了。她的美絕非速記員草草幾筆所能簡單描述。她不梳那種華麗誘人的龐帕杜高卷式發型,也不戴項鏈、手鐲或盒式小墜子。她臉上沒有那種受邀准備參加午宴的神氣。她的灰色裙子素凈,但相當合身,顯身材又不失大方莊重。她那頂簡潔的黑色無邊帽上插了根金綠色的金剛鸚鵡毛。這個上午,她身上煥發出一種溫柔而羞怯的光彩,雙眼流波閃爍,臉頰直泛桃紅,臉上帶著幸福的神色和絲絲懷想。

Pitcher, still mildly curious, noticed a difference in her ways this
morning. Instead of going straight into the adjoining room, where her desk was,
she lingered, slightly irresolute, in the outer office. Once she moved over by
Maxwell』s desk, near enough for him to be aware of her presence.

皮徹仍舊有點好奇,他注意到她這個上午的舉止有些異樣。她不像往常那樣徑直走進麥克斯韋爾辦公室隔壁那房間(她辦公桌在那兒),而是在辦公室外間略帶遲疑地徘徊。她還一度走近麥克斯韋爾的辦公桌,近得足以讓他意識到她的存在。

The machine sitting at that desk was no longer a man; it was a busy New
York broker, moved by buzzing wheels and 17)uncoiling
springs.
坐在辦公桌前的不再是個常人,簡直成了台機器。那是忙碌的紐約股票經紀人,一台上滿發條運作起來齒輪吱吱響的機器。

「Well—what is it? Anything?」 asked Maxwell sharply. His opened mail
lay like a bank of stage snow on his crowded desk. His keen grey eye, impersonal
and 18)brusque, flashed upon her half impatiently.
「Nothing,」 answered the
stenographer, moving away with a little smile.
「Mr. Pitcher,」 she said to
the confidential clerk, 「did Mr. Maxwell say anything yesterday about engaging
another stenographer?」
「He did,」 answered Pitcher. 「He told me to get
another one. I notified the agency yesterday afternoon to send over a few
samples this morning. It』s 9:45 o』clock, and not a single 19)picture hat or
piece of pineapple chewing gum has showed up yet.」

「噢——怎麼?有事嗎?」麥克斯韋爾徑直問道。他那些拆開了的信件躺在那張堆滿東西的辦公桌上,好像舞台上的一層人造雪。他那雙銳利的灰色眼睛半帶厭煩地掃了她一眼,顯得不近人情且粗暴無禮。

「沒什麼,」速記員回答說,然後笑了笑走開了。
「皮徹先生,」 她對機要秘書說,「麥克斯韋爾先生昨天有沒提過另外雇一名速記員的事?」

「提過。」皮徹答道,「他吩咐我另外找一個。昨天下午,我已通知速記員介紹所,讓他們今天上午介紹幾個來面試。現在已經九點四十五了,還沒見著哪個戴闊邊帽的或嚼菠蘿口香糖的人呢。」

「I will do the work as usual, then,」 said the young lady, 「until
someone comes to fill the place.」 And she went to her desk at once and hung the
black turban hat with the gold-green macaw wing in its accustomed
place.
「那我還是照常工作好啦,」 那年輕女子說道,「直到有人來頂替我這工作。」
她立刻走到自己的辦公桌前,把那頂插著金綠色金剛鸚鵡毛的黑色無邊帽掛在老地方。

And this day was Harvey
Maxwell』s busy day. The 20)ticker began to 21)reel out 22)jerkily its 23)fitful
24)coils of tape, the desk telephone had a chronic attack of buzzing. Men began
to throng into the office and call at him over the railing, jovially, sharply,
viciously, excitedly. Messenger boys ran in and out with messages and telegrams.
The clerks in the office jumped about like sailors ring a storm. Maxwell
shoved his chair against the wall and transacted business after the manner of a
25)toe dancer. He jumped from ticker to phone, from desk to door with the
trained 26)agility of a
27)harlequin.
今天是哈維·麥克斯韋爾的一個大忙天。股票行情自動收錄器開始像犯痙攣似地斷斷續續地吐出卷卷紙帶,桌上的電話像害了慢性病似的不時作響。人們開始湧入辦公室,隔著扶手欄桿朝他大喊大叫,有的欣喜若狂,有的尖聲厲詞,有的滿懷敵意,有的激動不已。信童跑進跑出傳信傳電報。辦公室里的職員們忙得跳來跳去,活像風暴來臨時船上的水手。麥克斯韋爾把椅子猛推到牆邊,如芭蕾舞者踮著腳尖跳舞般敏捷地處理業務,一下從股票行情自動收錄器跳到電話機旁,一下又從辦公桌邊跳到門口,其靈活度不亞於受過專門訓練的滑稽丑角。

In the midst of this growing and important stress, the broker became
suddenly aware of a high-rolled 28)fringe of golden hair under a nodding
29)canopy of velvet and 30)ostrich tips, an imitation sealskin 31)sacque and a
string of beads as large as 32)hickory nuts, ending near the floor with a silver
heart. There was a 33)self-possessed young lady connected with these
accessories; and Pitcher was there to construe
her.
就在這個愈發緊張和重要的時刻,經紀人突然注意到一頂帶鴕鳥毛羽飾、微微抖動的絲絨帽下那高高捲起的金發劉海,一件寬大的人造海豹皮上衣,一串用大如山核桃的珠子穿成,吊著個心形銀墜,幾乎垂到地板上的珠鏈。穿戴這些衣飾的是一個沉著鎮定的年輕女子。皮徹正准備介紹她。

「Lady from the Stenographer』s Agency to see about the position,」 said
Pitcher.
Maxwell turned half around, with his hands full of papers and
ticker tape. 「What position?」 he asked, with a frown.
「Position of
stenographer,」 said Pitcher. 「You told me yesterday to call them up and have one
sent over this morning.」
「You are losing your mind, Pitcher,」 said
Maxwell. 「Why should I have given you any such instructions? Miss Leslie has
given perfect satisfaction ring the year she has been here. The place is hers
as long as she chooses to retain it. There』s no place open here, madam.
Countermand that order with the agency, Pitcher, and don』t bring any more of 』em
in here.」
「這位小姐是速記員介紹所介紹過來的,應聘速記員一職。」皮徹說道。

麥克斯韋爾半轉過身,雙手滿是紙張和寫著股票行情的紙帶。「什麼職位?」他皺著眉頭問道。

「速記員。」皮徹說,「昨天你吩咐我給他們打電話,叫他們今天上午介紹一個人過來。」

「皮徹,你犯糊塗了吧?」麥克斯韋爾說,「我怎麼會叫你這樣做呢?萊絲麗小姐在這兒工作的一年裡令人十分滿意。只要她願意幹下去,這個職位永遠是她的。小姐,這兒沒有職位空缺。皮徹,通知介紹所取消招聘,叫他們別再介紹人過來。」

The silver heart left the office, swinging and banging itself
independently against the office furniture as it indignantly departed. Pitcher
seized a moment to remark to the bookkeeper that the 「34)old man」 seemed to get
more absent-minded and forgetful every day of the world.

那心形銀墜離開了辦公室,一路上憤憤不平,自個兒晃晃悠悠地撞上了辦公室里的傢具,撞得乒乓作響。皮徹忙中偷閑對簿記員說,「頭兒」似乎一天比一天心不在焉,且越發健忘。

The rush and pace of business grew fiercer and faster. On the floor they
were pounding half a dozen stocks in which Maxwell』s customers were heavy
investors. Orders to buy and sell were coming and going as swift as the flight
of swallows. Some of his own holdings were 35)imperiled, and the man was working
like some high-geared, delicate, strong machine—strung to full tension, going at
full speed, accurate, never hesitating, with the proper word and decision and
act, ready and prompt as clockwork. Stocks and bonds, loans and mortgages,
margins and securities—here was a world of finance, and there was no room in it
for the human world or the world of
nature.
業務處理越來越忙,節奏越來越快。麥克斯韋爾的顧客投資很大的股票中有六個遭到重創。下單買進賣出,來去疾如燕飛。麥克斯韋爾本人持有的一部分股票也危如累卵。他就像一台高速運轉、精密而強大的機器那樣工作著——精神綳緊到最大限度,開足馬力,准確精密,從不猶豫,言語、決策和行動都像發條裝置那般,准備充分,反應迅速。股票、債券、貸款、抵押、交易保證金和有價證券——這是一個金融世界,里頭沒有容納人類世界或是自然界的絲毫空隙。

When
the luncheon hour drew near there came a slight 36)lull in the
37)uproar.
午餐時間逐漸臨近,喧囂之中出現了片刻安靜。

Maxwell stood by his desk with
his hands full of telegrams and 38)memoranda, with a fountain pen over his right
ear and his hair hanging in disorderly strings over his forehead. And through
the window came a wandering—perhaps a lost—odour—a delicate, sweet odour of
lilac that fixed the broker for a moment immovable. For this odour belonged to
Miss Leslie; it was her own, and hers only. The odour brought her vividly,
almost tangibly before him. The world of finance dwindled suddenly to a
39)speck. And she was in the next room—twenty steps
away.
麥克斯韋爾站在辦公桌邊,手裡滿是電報和備忘便條,右耳上夾著一支鋼筆,一縷縷的頭發凌亂地垂在前額上。窗口飄進了一股四處徘徊的氣息——或許是一種失落的氣息——
一股優雅的丁香花香氣,剎那間,麥克斯韋爾給怔住了。因為這氣息來自萊絲麗小姐。是她的氣息,她獨有的氣息。芳香在他心中喚出了她的容貌,栩栩如生,幾乎伸手可及。金融世界轉瞬間縮成一小斑點。而她就在隔壁房間,僅二十步之遙。


「40)By George, I』ll do it now,」 said Maxwell, half aloud. 「I』ll ask her now. I
wonder why I didn』t do it long ago.」 He dashed into the inner office. He charged
upon the desk of the
stenographer.
「真的,我現在就得去,」麥克斯韋爾幾乎喊了出來,「我現在就去問她。我怎麼沒早點兒想起呢?」他箭步沖進里間辦公室,向速記員的辦公桌沖過去。

She
looked up at him with a smile. A soft pink crept over her cheek, and her eyes
were kind and frank. Maxwell leaned one elbow on her desk. He still clutched
fluttering papers with both hands and the pen was above his
ear.
她抬起頭,微笑地看著他,臉頰泛出淡淡紅暈,眼裡流露出溫柔和坦誠。麥克斯韋爾一隻胳膊撐在她桌上,手上依然握著晃動著的文件紙張,耳朵上還夾著那支鋼筆。

「Miss
Leslie,」 he began hurriedly, 「I have but a moment to spare. I want to say
something in that moment. Will you be my wife? I haven』t had time to make love
to you in the ordinary way, but I really do love you. Talk quick, please—those
fellows are 41)clubbing the stuffing out of Union
Pacific.」
「萊絲麗小姐,」他匆匆開口說,「我只能抽出這么點時間。趁這個機會跟你說幾句話。你願意做我的妻子嗎?我沒有時間以常人的方式跟你談情說愛,但是我確實愛你。請快回答我——那幫人正在設法打垮聯合太平洋鐵路公司呢。」

「Oh,
what are you talking about?」 exclaimed the young lady. She rose to her feet and
gazed upon him, round-eyed.
「喔,你在說什麼呀?」
年輕女人嚷道。她站起來,直愣愣地盯著他,眼睛睜得圓圓的。

「Don』t you understand?」 said Maxwell,
42)restively. 「I want you to marry me. I love you, Miss Leslie. I wanted to tell
you, and I snatched a minute when things had 43)slackened up a bit. They』re
calling me for the phone now. Tell 』em to wait a minute, Pitcher. Won』t you,
Miss
Leslie?」
「你不明白嗎?」麥克斯韋爾倔頭倔腦地說,「我想要你嫁給我。我愛你,萊絲麗小姐。我早就想對你說了,所以工作沒那麼緊張時就抽空跑來。他們現在又打電話找我了。皮徹,讓他們等一會兒。萊絲麗小姐,你願意嗎?」

The
stenographer acted very queerly. At first she seemed overcome with amazement;
then tears flowed from her wondering eyes; and then she smiled sunnily through
them, and one of her arms slid tenderly about the broker』s
neck.
速記員的舉動很奇怪。起先,她似乎驚愕萬分;接著,淚水從她那充滿詫異的眼睛裡流了下來;之後,透過晶瑩的淚花,她展露出陽光般燦爛的笑容,一條胳膊溫柔地摟住經紀人的脖子。

「I
know now,」 she said, softly. 「It』s this old business that has driven everything
else out of your head. I was frightened at first. Don』t you remember, Harvey? We
were married yesterday evening at 8 o』clock in the Little Church Around the
Corner.」

「現在我懂了,」她柔聲說道,「是這破買賣讓你啥都忘了。起初我還很害怕呢。難道你不記得了嗎?哈維,我們昨晚八點鍾在『街角的小教堂』里舉行過婚禮了。」